Sinterklaas fun or Sintstress? How to keep the balance

Sintstress is the tension some children experience around Sinterklaas: because of the pressure to be "good", uncertainty about presents, a disrupted daily routine and too many stimuli. You reduce that stress by leaving out the emphasis on reward and punishment, keeping to the routine and bedtimes, avoiding overstimulation, explaining what is going to happen and making room for emotions. That way Sinterklaas remains a celebration of being together and enjoying yourselves.

What is Sintstress?

For many children Sinterklaas is the highlight of the year: the excitement of putting out their shoe, looking forward to presents and the cosy bustle of the celebration. But for some children this period is anything but carefree. From the constant idea that they "have to be good" to the invisible pressure to live up to unspoken expectations: it can be a tough time. More and more parents are encountering this phenomenon.

Sintstress is a form of tension that children can experience around the time of Sinterklaas. Although for most children the celebration mainly means joy and excitement, for some children it can actually trigger anxiety or stress. Fortunately, you do not need to be a party expert to prevent Sintstress. With a few smart, practical tips you turn Sinterklaas into a time of enjoyment, being together and unforgettable memories.

What causes Sintstress in children?

It is important to understand why children can suffer from Sintstress, so you can choose the right approach. Common causes are:

• The pressure to behave well. Sinterklaas is often directly linked to reward and punishment, through the Pieten who watch whether you are being good. In the weeks beforehand children are reminded of their behaviour, and sometimes they are told that "Sinterklaas will not come if you are not good". That makes children insecure and puts them under pressure to perform perfectly.
• Expectations around presents. Children can worry about what they will or will not get, and whether they will get anything from their wish list at all.
• Changes in the daily rhythm. Parties, family visits, busy shoe evenings, school performances and extra school activities disrupt the routine. Normal bedtimes shift, and children can get the feeling that they are losing control over their day.
• Too many stimuli. The Sinterklaas season is busy: decorations, music, shopping, busy gatherings and often an abundance of treats and presents. All those visual and sound stimuli can be overwhelming for a young child.
• Fear of the unknown. Some children become anxious about the arrival parade, the bustle at school or about Sinterklaas and the Pieten themselves. That can show itself in physical complaints such as tummy ache or headache.

Photo by grennn.nl

How do you prevent Sintstress in children?

Fortunately there are various ways to reduce Sintstress and help children get through the Sinterklaas period with pleasure. Eight pedagogically sound tips:

1. Limit the pressure to be "good"

Explain that Sinterklaas comes because he wants to celebrate the fun and the festivities, not only to reward children for good behaviour. Do not put the emphasis on reward and punishment, but talk about cosy togetherness, love and giving presents.

Tip: talk regularly with your child about what Sinterklaas means and emphasise the positive sides of the celebration.

2. Make the daily routine predictable

Keep to the daily structure as much as possible. Especially on the days before Sinterklaas it is important to be in bed on time and get enough rest. Busyness causes tiredness, and tiredness in turn leads to more stress.

Tip: make sure there are enough quiet moments in the busy period. Build in a calming moment together with your child every day, such as reading a book or doing a quiet activity.

3. Avoid overstimulation

It is tempting to fill the house with Sinterklaas decorations, but too many visual stimuli cause stress in some children. Make the celebration cosy, but not too busy.

Tip: create a calm environment where your child can wind down when needed. Do not switch on bright lights in the evening and do not play loud music in the living room.

4. Talk about what your child can expect

Explain what is going to happen, so your child can prepare. Whether it is a visit from Sinterklaas, a party at school or a Sinterklaas evening at home: knowing what is coming helps many children feel less insecure.

Tip: make a calendar together with the upcoming activities. That gives structure and predictability. If your child knows, for example, on which day Sinterklaas is coming, that is reassuring.

5. Focus on being together, not on presents

Sinterklaas is not only about presents and treats, but also about being together. Remind your child of the value of singing together, playing games and giving small tokens of appreciation. That reduces the pressure of the presents.

Tip: organise a crafts afternoon to make presents for others. That way your child learns about giving and sharing, instead of only thinking about what they will get.

6. Help with dealing with fears

If you notice that your child is anxious about certain parts of Sinterklaas, such as the arrival of the Sint or the Pieten, take the time to acknowledge those feelings and talk about them. Some children like to have more control over the situation.

Tip: prepare your child for what is coming and give reassuring information. Explain, for example, that Sinterklaas is very friendly and that the Pieten have no scary intentions.

7. Keep an eye on your child's energy level

Children can get very excited about the upcoming festivities, but that can turn into overtiredness. Too much busyness and too little rest increase the stress.

Tip: make sure there is a good balance between activities and moments of rest. If your child gets stressed, do something quiet for a while, such as a puzzle or colouring, to reduce the overstimulation.

8. Create a safe space for emotions

Some children express stress or anxiety by crying, getting angry or withdrawing. Acknowledge that those emotions are allowed to be there. Let your child know it is okay to feel that way and that they can always come to you.

Tip: give your child room to talk about what is on their mind and listen attentively. A stress ball or a breathing exercise can help them calm down.

Sintstress is recognisable in many children, but you can limit that stress well by approaching the Sinterklaas celebration in a pedagogically sound way. By creating calm, managing expectations and making room for emotions, your child feels safe and happy in this special time of year. The most important thing is to celebrate together, with attention to your child's needs and limits, so they can enjoy the fun without unnecessary stress.

Summary

• Sintstress is tension around Sinterklaas caused by the pressure to be good, uncertainty about presents, a disrupted routine, too many stimuli and fear of the unknown.
• Leave reward and punishment out of the story and emphasise fun, being together and giving.
• Keep to the daily structure and bedtimes, and build in a quiet moment every day.
• Tell your child what is going to happen, for example with a calendar, and acknowledge fears and emotions.
• Celebrate together, with attention to your child's needs and limits.

Frequently asked questions

How do you notice that your child suffers from Sintstress?

By crying, anger or withdrawn behaviour, and sometimes by physical complaints such as tummy ache or headache. Overtiredness from too much busyness and too little rest is also a signal.

Should you tell your child that Sinterklaas only comes if they are good?

Better not. That link to reward and punishment makes children insecure and puts them under pressure. Explain that Sinterklaas comes to celebrate the fun and the festivities.