What you really need to take on holiday with young children

On holiday with young children, it's best to take few toys: one or two small sets of open-ended toys such as stacking stones or magnetic tiles, something separate for the journey, something familiar such as the favourite cuddly toy, and otherwise room in the bag. Young children learn by exploring for themselves, and a new environment with sand, water, shells and sticks gives them more than enough for that. Let your child choose 3 to a maximum of 5 things themselves; then what comes along is what's really a favourite.

Why does the toy bag stay closed on holiday?

When parents prepare for a holiday, a striking amount of attention goes to what disappears into the toy bag. A favourite cuddly toy can't be left behind, nor can a few little books for the journey, something to build with, something to colour with and a game for when things get tricky. That preparation is understandable: we want our children to feel comfortable in a new environment and we think ahead to solutions for moments of boredom or waiting.

Yet almost every holiday shows the same picture. The carefully chosen toy bag stays closed surprisingly often, while a child can lose themselves completely in a handful of shells, a bucket of water or a stick found along the way. For many parents that feels almost contradictory. Why does a child leave toys untouched that they play with every day at home? The answer starts with the way young children learn.

Did you know that young children on average stay focused far longer on play with natural materials (such as sand, water and stones) than on toys with a fixed function?

How do young children learn?

The American developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik describes young children as little scientists. They build their knowledge of the world not only through explanations from adults, but above all by observing, experimenting and making connections themselves. A child letting sand slip through their hands discovers that wet sand sticks and dry sand falls apart. A toddler turning a shell over again and again is investigating shape, structure and sound. To adults these seem like small things, but for a young brain they are important learning experiences.

That is exactly why a holiday changes the way children play. Where adults mainly see a different location, a young child experiences an environment that is almost completely new: different smells, different sounds, an unfamiliar bedroom, a beach where the waves keep moving or a forest full of materials that aren't available at home.

Why is a holiday day so tiring for a child?

The psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel explains that young children's brains are still very much developing, especially when it comes to planning, impulses and emotions. A day full of new impressions is therefore not only fun, but also tiring. Many parents recognise that moment at the end of the day: a child who suddenly reacts angrily or tearfully to something small. That is often not “difficult behaviour”, but a sign that their head is full.

Once you understand this, it also becomes clear why toys take on a different role on holiday. They don't need to compete with the surroundings, but can support what a child is already discovering.

What do you take with you?

Instead of taking lots of toys, it helps to choose deliberately. These four guidelines often work well.

1. Choose open-ended toys

Toys that can be used in several ways stay interesting for longer. Examples:

• Stacking stones or blocks
• Magnetic tiles
• Wooden figures or animals

Tip: choose 1 or 2 sets that are small and fit easily in a bag.

2. Take something for the journey

The journey, in the car, the plane or the restaurant, calls for different toys than at your destination. Handy for the journey:

• A small book
• Colouring book and pencils
• Sticker book
• Magnetic game

Tip: keep these toys separate and only hand them out during the journey. That makes them instantly more interesting.

“Children don't need a full toy bag to keep themselves entertained, but room to discover what's already there.”

3. Take something familiar

A new environment can be exciting. Something recognisable helps enormously, especially at bedtime or in moments of tiredness. Think of:

• The favourite cuddly toy
• A familiar little book
• A small game from home

4. Leave room, literally and figuratively

You don't have to think of everything in advance. Let your child think along and choose. Ask, for example: “Which 3 to a maximum of 5 things do you really want to take?” By leaving that choice to your child, something important happens:

• Your child feels ownership over what comes along.
• The toys that are chosen are often real favourites.
• There is more engagement in the play.
• You avoid a bag full of things that never get used.

Your child also learns something valuable: choosing means you can't take everything. That often makes play more creative. Deliberately keep it small: a few favourite items plus open-ended toys is often more than enough. And just as important: literally leave room in your bag and in your planning.

Taking less often means more play

When you look at the toy bag again with this knowledge, the question you ask yourself changes too. Not: “How many toys do I take?” but: “What helps my child discover, without taking over the play?” Good toys for a holiday are light, flexible and open-ended. They fit in with what's already there, instead of dictating everything.

And maybe that's the most important thing: you don't have to organise the play. You only have to create the right conditions. Your child does the rest.

Summary

• Young children learn by exploring for themselves; sand, water and shells hold their attention longer than toys with a fixed function.
• Take 1 or 2 small sets of open-ended toys, such as stacking stones, blocks or magnetic tiles.
• Keep something separate for the journey: a little book, colouring book, sticker book or magnetic game.
• Take something familiar for bedtime and for tired moments.
• Let your child choose 3 to a maximum of 5 things themselves, and leave room in your bag and your planning.

Frequently asked questions

Why does my child suddenly get angry or upset at the end of a holiday day?

A day full of new impressions is tiring for a young brain that is still very much developing. That is often not difficult behaviour, but a sign that their head is full.

How many toys do you take on holiday?

Few: 1 or 2 small sets of open-ended toys, something for the journey and something familiar. Let your child choose 3 to a maximum of 5 things themselves.